How does one identify love? You can’t “see” it. The words can be spoken, but if they aren’t followed through with actions, those words turn as brittle and hollow as a cheap chocolate Easter bunny. Lust and infatuation often masquerade as love, but when the initial burn fades, then what?
I suppose the answer may vary depending on the individual needs of each person. One clue, however, may be found in how a person expresses his or her love for others.
What am I talking about? I’m guessing many people express their love, consciously or subconsciously, in the exact way they would like to be loved.
For example, some people shower a lover with over-the-top gifts and surprises. They enjoy indulging the object of their affection, and seeing that person’s joyful response. I suspect those same people might measure how much they are loved based on whether or not their lover goes to extremes for them, too. Other people are physically affectionate, offering little hugs, pecks on the nose, and cute pinches on the bottom whenever their loved one brushes past them. Again, I’d bet those same people crave that level of affection in return.
I try to anticipate what the people I love need or want, and then I look for ways to give it to them without them having to ever ask. I don’t always get it right (oh, if only I could read minds), but the fact that I attempt proves that they matter. I’m taking time away from thinking of myself in order to think of them. Taking time away from what I want to do for myself in order to do for them. To me, this is loving, and yes, when someone anticipates my needs or desires without me ever asking, I feel known and loved.
Do you agree or disagree?