A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one ~ Marjorie Kinnan
The heroine of my current work-in-progress is a woman whose prior boyfriend inadvertently seriously injured her best friend during a jealous confrontation. Now she doesn’t trust her judgment in men and is hesitant to get involved with anyone, even the wonderfully kind hero of my new story. Past experience interfering with a present shot at happiness…sound familiar?
While most of us haven’t dealt with a violent boyfriend, I’m sure many of us have been burned by some other form of poor behavior, especially if, like me, you were drawn to the charming rogue who believed there wasn’t enough of him to go around. Did he/she cheat? Belittle your appearance or intelligence? String you along? Make you feel like an after-thought? Experiencing those moments is painful, but worse is the permanent echo those incidents emit long after the offending lover is gone.
Between the ages of twenty through twenty-six, I was a magnet for scoundrels. Being cheated on by one old boyfriend made me believe any man will cheat. Being gently teased about body parts by another made me forever self-conscious about them. Being strung along crushed my confidence. Then, eighteen years ago, I started dating the man I eventually married. We had a rocky start due to the emotional baggage we both carried into the relationship. It took more than three years for us to get to the point where we were ready to make the big commitment, but it was well-worth the risk.
Unlike the boyfriends of my early years, my husband is a rather quiet, disciplined man who is very content with the simple things in life. I realize now, had I not experienced the negative consequences of the more exuberant men of my past, I might never have fully appreciated the understated but finer qualities my husband offers. He’s trustworthy, good to my entire family, and the best father I could’ve given our kids. I got lucky (or smarter) and am grateful. But my personal tale brings us full circle to the quote at the beginning of this piece.
Do you agree with Ms. Kinnan? Want to share a nugget of wisdom from your own experience to help someone else avoid falling into the same trap?
In any case, I hope readers will be rooting for my prickly heroine to let go of her fear and give love one more try.
xo-Jamie
Photo Credit: Wavebreak Media Ltd. (123rf.com)
